in 5 hours i will stop at a red light, lean over, and double knot the rebellious laces on my right soccer shoe.. 1 minute later i will make a left turn and pick the grass out of the hole in my left shoe..i will park the car and see a tall lanky fellow running alone in circles.. . dried up mud will follow my first footsteps out of the car.. the pitch will be uneven.. the wind, cold and uninviting.... an hour later.. people will kick the ball in some direction.. and soon after... a large whale, the great Paindo, will plop onto the pitch and devour the opposing team.. minutes later it will spit them out as Oompa Loompas.. the great pizza chain, Marios, will rejoice!